In many ways it feels as though we made the trip to China just a few days ago. How can it be that we are at the six month mark already?
In other ways it seems as if these precious little girls have been with us always.
I don't know if it is our girls, if it is that we are REALLY experienced parents,
or if it is simply the grace of God, but it seems as if our adjustment has been
easier than expected. We've had some tough times, sure, but the good
times really have outnumbered the tough ones.
At the three month point, I shared with you the struggle of Jen's
meltdowns. I'm super happy to say that they have mostly disappeared
unless we allow the situation that will set her up for one. With all the
craziness of their sister Ruth's wedding, our house full of company for an
entire week, their nieces and nephews competing for attention (and for their toys)
and our schedule being thrown off, they actually did quite well overall.
It wasn't until the late night of the rehearsal dinner followed by the late
night of wedding cleanup that the trouble started. Abigail had a meltdown
as we cleaned the church. Jen had a MAJOR meltdown as we loaded up our
van. I am amazed that it took so long to surface. Honestly *I* felt
like having a little tired tizzy fit myself at that point, and I heard a couple of
the grandchildren having milder meltdowns in the parking lot! This week has also been rough as we've attempted to get back on schedule, while nothing is really the same with Ruth gone.
Our usual routine includes physical,
occupational, and speech therapy twice a week and homeschool co-op once a
week. And the little girls who "couldn't talk?" They have
impressed even their therapists with their tremendous progress. We still
speak a funny combination of Chinese/English/sign language, but the English is
coming along very nicely and they can understand most of what we say
now.
So who are our girls? Their personalities have really emerged. Abigail is the dominate one at home, but is shy around those she doesn't know
well. She will clam up and refuse to look at a new person by hiding up
against a family member. She likes things tidy and in order, and her
world is uncomfortable when things are out of place. I've had to teach
her that she may NOT take Mama's coffee cup and put it in the sink if she sees
it on the table. (A Mama has to have limits, after all!) If
something is missing - like the TV remote - we ask Abigail. She usually
knows where things are. Even if they are UNDER a couch cushion, she
knows. She loves to watch movies, with Signing Time being her favorite. She is a hot tea drinker and asks for a cup several times a week. Ice cream is her other favorite (or ANYTHING sweet).
She loves to snack and is often heard saying, "I hungry. Eat
food!" And she still has amazing abilities with chopsticks! Abigail is usually neat, and seldom gets her clothes dirty. She asks to go to bed around seven o'clock every night (how DID I
get a child like this?) and squeals with delight when she gets a bath.
She is usually a giggling little mass of fun with an ornery streak. Ethan and I have been known to comment to one another, "Good thing she is so stinking cute!"
Jennifer is a total sweetheart - except when she isn't. There isn't much middle ground with her. Either she is a total doll or a real terror! Happily, her sweet side is the norm unless she is stressed or feels out of control. She has trouble self-regulating which is pretty common in children raised in an institution. She depends on US to keep a predictable schedule and we pay dearly for it when we don't. She isn't a "me first" girl, and yields turns and toys easily. She likes to eat, but will react with her whole body if she dislikes a food. Peanut butter or cucumbers are known to send her into spasms in which she looks convinced that we just attempted to poison her! She loves fruit, but isn't big on super sweet things like frosting. However, she does share the love of ice cream. Jen is the one to take the lead when we are away from home and make new friends. Movies are ok for a little while, but she is the one who walks away from the TV to play with the kitchen toys or puzzles, and she LOVES playing outdoors, especially on the slide. Because she is affected more severely by the Cerebral Palsy, she is a pretty messy eater. She also walks on her knees, even outside. I often joke that her clothes are disposable. I have yet to find a stain remover that can take on her clothes! But, she has a real girly side to her and loves to have her hair fixed pretty and wear pretty things.
There are other adoptive parents reading my blog, and those still waiting
for their child's placement who are watching those of us before them to see how
we are doing. For those who have yet to travel let me reassure you that YES it is worth it. Hold fast. They are worth all the stress, all the paperwork, all the hassle and all the waiting. Stay the course.
