Abigail and Jen - 2013 - Guangdong

My favorite family photo - 2012 - with most of our children and grandchildren. The family has grown a LOT since then!

We traveled in the spring of 2013 to bring home our (then) six-year-old daughter, Abigail Dawn and seven-year-old daughter Jennifer Lin, from an orphanage in Guangdong Province, in Southeast China.
Timeline:
07/25/2012 LOI for Abigail (Letter of Intent to adopt sent to China)
07/28/2012 Home Study began
08/02/2012 PA for Abigail (Pre Approval to adopt granted from China) (perfect gift for our 32nd anniversary!)
08/28/2012 last Social Worker visit
09/06/2012 rough draft of Home Study received
09/20/2012 Home Study approved
10/03/2012 I800A sent to immigrations
10/05/2012 Receipt of I800A at USCIS
10/09/2012 LOI for Jennifer (Letter of Intent to adopt sent to China)
10/19/2012 Fingerprinted (walk-in) at USCIS
10/23/2012 PA for Jennifer (Pre Approval to adopt granted from China)
11/01/2012 USCIS approval of I800A
11/05/2012 USCIS written approval received
11/28/2012 DTC  (Dossier to China)
12/7/2012 LID (Log in Date)
12/20/2012 OOT (Out of Translation)
02/01/2013 LOA (Letter of Acceptance)
02/01/2013 I800 sent to immigrations
02/28/2013 I800 approval
03/12/2013 Article 5 drop off
03/26/2013 Article 5 pick up, sent to CCCWA, officially waiting on TA!
04/09/2013 TA!!
04/19/2013 Travel to China
04/22/2013 We met our girls!
04/23/2013 Legally adopted the girls in country
05/02/2013 Consulate Appointment
05/03/2013 Returned home to Ohio

Our travels to the Little Princesses:

Travel Blog!

I have included lots of details about our travels just in case it could be of help to adoptive families who will be traveling soon.   It may be more details than the general reader will want to know.  If so, feel free to blast by them!

We left noon-ish on Friday, April 19 for the Cincinnati airport.  For the record, it was the cleanest and nicest of the airports that we were in.  Our oldest daughter, Sarah, had put breakfast in front of me an hour or so earlier and told me to eat it.  I’m glad I listened.  It was about twelve hours later before I got another meal.

We were pleasantly surprised to find that American Airlines would check our luggage from Cincinnati all the way to Guangzhou for us, and we wouldn’t need to handle it again until we got to China!  And yes, every piece arrived, though we did have a notice in one that it had been opened for inspection, and one suitcase was missing the strap we had put on it before checking it in.

Our first flight out on American Eagle was delayed.  Tikvah was pretty nervous, and visited on the cell phone with big sister Hannah while she waited.  I was very strangely calm about the situation.  I think there must have been a lot of people praying and a LOT of grace extended my way for this coward to get on so well!

    

At last we got off the ground in what I would describe as a little tuna fish can (Tikvah says sardine can) that was a teeny, tiny airplane packed full of people.  I thought I would barf as the pilot swerved and swayed getting us up in the air!  The stewardess came by a little later with a cup of lukewarm, pretty bad coffee, but I was thankful for it.  When we landed in Dallas, Texas we were about an hour behind schedule.  In order to get seats we needed to check in at the gate.  The man at the counter told us to step aside, as he was working on it.  Most of the rest of our layover was spent waiting for seat assignments and boarding passes.  We had figured out by this time that none of us had any lunch, but there wasn’t enough time to do anything about it.  We did manage to buy bottles of water and a little snack from a vending machine. 

Tikvah was feeling more confident for the second flight.  The nice man had gotten us three seats together and WOW I was thankful.  This plane was quite a bit larger than the little regional plane, but the seats were tight together.   This plane didn’t sway as badly so the flight itself wasn’t as scary, but I confess the experience of the first plane combined with the rushing to get our boarding passes had me pretty freaked out by the time we began the second flight.   Again I was offered a cup of lukewarm, bad coffee and I gladly accepted it.  My Mp3 player’s batteries were dead and I couldn’t find the new ones in my bag. The inflight movie wouldn’t work.  I read, but there wasn’t much to distract me!  By the time the second flight arrived in Los Angeles, my legs (and pretty much everything attached to them) ached pretty badly.  I wondered how I would ever be able to endure another fifteen plus hours in the air. 

It was around 8pm (eleven our time) when we landed in LA.  This time we needed to wait in a REALLY LONG line at the airport for our international flight with China Southern.  I had heard bad reviews of this airline and was pretty concerned about how long we were going to be “guests” with them.  (I was concerned needlessly.) At last we got through the line, got our boarding passes, and went to wait for the flight.

 The only thing near to our departure gate was a little drink and sandwich shop.  We paid a crazy amount for three ham and cheese sandwiches, but it was worth it!

I feel I really MUST give a good account of our time on China Southern Airlines.  I had read bad reviews and indeed even talked to friends in real life who had nothing good to say about them.  Perhaps they have changed?  Perhaps we got lucky?  Not sure, but the fifteen plus hours on their flight was actually pretty good.

When my last post left off, I believe we were in LAX waiting for our China Southern flight.  We had just eaten exquisitely expensive ham and cheese sandwiches.  We met a very nice man from Australia who was traveling on business.  We enjoyed talking with him, and he was interested to hear about our journey too.  He travels quite a bit and had good things to say about the airbus we were about to get on.  That was reassuring.

So we boarded the flight, still with low expectations.  Much to our delight we found that the seats were wider and had quite a bit more foot room than either of our domestic flights.  The back of each seat had an entertainment center with headphones.  UNTRUE that they play the same stuff over and over every two to three hours!  There were LOTS of movies, TV shows, music, games, even E books.  The stewardesses were smiling and professional. 

Each seat also had a little cloth zippered bag that contained ear plugs, an eye mask, toothbrush, toothpaste, and a comb.  There was a small pillow and blanket on each seat as well.  Did they wash them in between uses?  Dunno.  They appeared pretty much clean, and about half way in to the flight I really didn't care.

We had been in the air an hour or two when the stewardesses came around with little foil packets.  Hmmm... what is this?  If you know me in real life, you will understand that they scored BIG points because the packet contained a hand wipe!  This was followed by an offer of various drinks - soda pop, juice, water, tea and COFFEE!  My friends know that I love coffee.  My friends know that if I'm under stress I REALLY love coffee.  This was the first HOT cup I'd received yet on our flights, and it was good too!  Yep.  I'll endorse China Southern for their coffee if nothing else!

We were very surprised that meal trays came next.  While our flight back home specifies a meal, this one (because it left LA at 11PM and arrived at 5AM local time) didn't cover a meal time.  We were told no meals would be served.  We got trays with meatballs, fruit, a roll (with real butter), and a bowl with a potato salad looking dish and sushi - which I was afraid to try.  What I ate was pretty good for airline food.  This was followed with another round of drinks - coffee for me again- yay!

People went back to the galley throughout the long night and got drinks.  The one bad thing about the flight was the restroom.  I visited it twice, the last time was about half way through that fifteen hour flight - yep it was THAT bad.  I determined not to request any drinks because I was not going to go back in there again.  Any China Southern reps read my blog?  Your flights could be nearly perfect if every few hours someone could mop up the floors in the restrooms.

We had a group of three seats together, so Tikvah was able to sleep with her head on Ethan's lap and her feet on mine.  She stretched out and got a full night's sleep!  Looks like she is tucked into bed, doesn't it?  Ethan and I got two or three hours of sleep.

Around 3AM the stewardesses came around with trays that had some type of a white roll on them.  The roll ended up being a rolled up HOT washcloth - heavenly!  The drink cart came around again - of course I HAD to accept the coffee, followed by breakfast trays.  They had congee, fruit, a croissant and yogurt.  The drink cart followed again.  Yet more coffee.

Around 4:30 AM all of the entertainment on the backs of the seats became group exercises/stretches!  It was all in Chinese, so we couldn't understand a word, but the demonstration was done well.

Our flight ran on time - something that domestic flights could stand to improve on!  I was very glad to get off the airplane (and very glad to find a restroom too!)  As we were heading out we saw the nice Australian man again and got to chat a bit more.  The whole experience was a bit stressful for me, and it was amazing how this familiar face - who spoke English - was comforting to me.  A note to remember for my girls as we travel home to all things unfamiliar to them.

We had to stand in a very, very long line to be cleared through immigrations.   We had to submit an entry form and a departure form (which we kept for the check going out.)  That was a little scary, but the man was pleasant enough. Next stop was luggage pick up.  All of our bags arrived with us for which we were thankful.  They had forgotten to put a strap back on one of them after inspecting it, but thankfully it didn't come open when they unloaded it from the plane.  Our guide, Elsie, was waiting with a WACAP sign as we came out of the luggage area, so she was easy to spot.

The guides have worked out a good system of calling the van driver when they are ready to go, so in most instances we are picked up and dropped off right at the door of our destination.  The traffic is amazing!  LOTS of cars, trucks, vans, buses, and bicycles all zooming into spots too small for them to get into!  Our driver seems to be pretty careful.  I am just learning to trust that he knows his job and that God has angels surrounding the vehicle.  There are no seat belts except for the driver and front seat passenger, and for this former EMT and safety instructor, not wearing a seat belt is kind of like going out naked.

We arrived at our hotel around 7AM.  Check in time is not until 2PM, but they were very gracious and did NOT make us wait.  It took awhile to get it figured out, but they got us into a room.

We are staying in The Garden.  It is a very beautiful five star hotel.  Our room has a decent sized living room with a couch, chair, table and stools, desk, and a cabinet with a hot pot and small refrigerator unit in it.  The bedroom has two basically twin sized beds which we scooted together to make into a king sized.  All four of us girls are sleeping there, and Ethan gets the couch.  We actually did bring an air mattress in one of the suitcases, but forgot the converter so the couch is better than the flat mattress!  I hope to say more about The Garden later on, but their breakfast buffet is calling my name right now...

We began our journey to Guangzhou, China on the afternoon of Friday, April 19 and arrived early in the morning on Sunday, April 21.  Our adoption agency had assigned a sweet lady called Elsie to be our guide during our stay.  She met us at the airport, helped us get checked into the hotel many hours before the normal check in time, then left us to ourselves for the rest of the day. We passed the day walking and getting acquainted with the area around our hotel.  We discovered a department store -AEON - that had a large grocery area on the ground floor.  (This proved to be a regular stop for us - almost every day - as our girls ended up preferring to eat in our room.)

The view from our room at The Garden Hotel

We woke very early in the morning on Monday, April 22 - the day to meet the Little Princesses! Although they began serving breakfast at 6AM, it was still a couple of hours away!

Ethan, Tikvah and I spent quite a bit of time walking around the elaborate gardens area at our hotel after breakfast.  The HUGE fish in the ponds appreciated the leftovers from Tikvah's breakfast!  The waterfall was amazing too!  Our guide arrived to take us to the Civil Affairs office and we made the short drive.

Tikvah wore her BIG SISTER shirt for the first time!  She has waited nearly 11 years to be a big sister!

 Traffic in China is pretty much indescribable.  There are so many people, in vehicles (including entire families on motorbikes!) on bicycles, on foot - and pretty much the biggest thing has the right away it seems!  At any given time there are more lines of vehicles than there are lanes allowed for them.  Amazingly there seemed to be very few accidents with all of the honking and merging of vehicles.  Our guide instructed our driver to drop us off at the edge of the street and then she wove us in and out of the alleys on foot to somehow end up at the office!

We entered the room that I've seen pictured on so many other blogs.  Because of the Trade Fair and a labor holiday approaching in China we didn't have lots of people waiting with us that day.  One of the families were acquaintances from an online group, and this was their second time to adopt in China.  They were a great encouragement to us throughout our stay.

We had  barely taken a seat when we were told that our daughters had arrived!  Jen (ShaMei) came out first, wheeled out in her chair.  She was smiling and seemed happy to meet us.  Abigail (XinQing) was NOT happy, however.  She was howling and they were literally dragging her.  It was heartbreaking and definitely not the stuff of the romantic, put to music "Gotcha" videos.  She created such a ruckus that they put US behind the curtain so as not to ruin the moment for the other families.  The reactions were pretty much what we had predicted, only more so!

We went back to the hotel and the guide thought a trip to the playground at the hotel might help.  Not so much!  Jen loved playing on the slide, but Abigail refused to participate at all.  She perked up a bit back in the room when we did nails and hair - such a true girly girl!

Getting ready for bed  as they brush each other's hair that first night.

All the princesses tucked in and asleep.

 

On Tuesday we had our official adoption proceedings at the Civil Affairs Office.  This consisted of two interviews, us promising not to abandon or abuse them, and signing papers.Abigail still didn't want much to do with the whole process.  She spent most of the time as seen below with her "Baba" carrying her.

 
Tikvah and I went shopping a couple of times with Ann of Red Thread http://redthreadchina.com/  She took us to the wholesale markets and got us some fantastic deals.  She also came up to the room to talk to our girls a little bit and translate for us.  If you are on an adoption trip, be sure to contact Ann.  She was so, so nice and helpful too!

Ann with Jen

One of our best purchases while out shopping with Ann was little silk parasols.  The girls loved them!  They treated us to a song and dance about the rain.

Our medical appointment was supposed to be on Thursday,  April 25.  We were quite surprised to end up at the Safari Park instead!  Since there was rain in the forecast for the next few days our guide wanted to get us to the one place we had requested.  The medicals are totally required, so it kind of freaked us out to skip our appointment, but we were totally at the mercy of our guide and Safari Park it was!  It looks like we dressed Abigail for the occasion, but it was absolutely a coincidence.

Tikvah gave a bottle to a baby tiger.  I think that was the highlight of the whole trip for her!  The other two had the chance too, but they were too afraid to feed it.

Both girls were pretty happy about the day except for two specific times.  Abigail didn't like the elephant show - though it was VERY impressive -

And Jen TOTALLY FREAKED OUT when she saw the giraffes!  Though as noted by my oldest daughter, she didn't seem the least bit concerned about the tiger just a few feet away checking out the lunch menu!

We visited the Sun Yat-Sen Memorial Hall.  This is a historical memorial to commemorate Dr. Sun Yat-Sen, forerunner of Chinese Revolution. Our guide called him the "Father" of their country, much like our George Washington.

 One thing I loved about China was the sense of community in the parks.  There were hundreds and hundreds of people exercising in them!  Or dancing....

Loved all the RED in China!  It is my favorite color, so it looked like they decorated just for me!

I seriously LOVE China's parks!

Chen Ancestral Hall

Located outside the west gate of Guangzhou City and built 1888-1893. It used to provide temporary accommodation for the Chen family people when they came to the provincial capital for official discussion, imperial examination or litigation. It has a magnificent artistic appeal, though our littlest girls thought it was pretty boring! It now houses a museum of various folk arts and handicrafts of the local province. It has things like ceramics, antique furniture, embroidery, carvings, etc.

Our girls weren't all that impressed with the art work, but we enjoyed it!

And here we are to Friday - and no the week hasn't really gone zip fast like that for us!  We had the medical exams and blood tests for TB this morning.  Afterwards our guide took us out for noodles and dumplings for lunch.  This is the local food custom.  It was really good, but WOW the amount of food they brought out.  They just kept bringing dish after dish!  Our guide was surprised at the amount of food we left, but it was just too much!  We brought a container of it back to our room, and Miss Abigail has been grazing on it for quite some time.

How are we doing?  We are tired.  The twelve hour time difference is a bear.  The girls have times of being really happy and times of really NOT happy.  I do believe we have made a lot of progress in becoming a family this week though.  

So did we do anything else in China besides official appointments and touring?  Yes.  The girls could often be found as in the photo above - snacking and flipping through the TV stations with the remote.  Or as below playing with play dough.

Tooth brushing was a main event!

And MORE nail polish.

We had MORE snacks -

And fed snacks to Hello Kitty.

And fed the fish. (Can you tell that eating is a favorite past time of these two?)

And walked through the gardens at the hotel.

We played in a little ball pit that had some rain water in it.

And we played in the pool too.  A heads-up to those traveling when it isn't absolutely sweltering outside.  We went swimming when it was 80 degrees.  This is SUMMER TIME in Ohio, folks but not in Guangzhou.  The pool attendant was so totally freaked out and stood by the pool with towels.  He literally grabbed our girls (who were having a blast by the way) when they got out of the pool.  Ooops.  We didn't take them there again.  In fact our guide sent us back to our room to get them SWEATERS in the eight degree weather!

Tikvah got some time for herself, and I mean ALL herself on a 79 degree day. That is COLD here in Guangzhou I guess. The Shenzhen princesses stayed in and looked at pictures with Baba. Too tramatic for the pool guy! He doesn't seem to care if we Americans freeze American kids. ROFL!

 

It is not legal in China to give up a child for adoption.  Perhaps because of this there are hundreds upon hundreds of abandoned children.  Some are left in public places where they will be quickly and easily found.  Some are left in secret places and their fate is often grim.  The police are notified about children that are found and have to file a report.  Part of the report includes the "finding spot."

What would cause a parent to abandon their child?  Having been to China and experienced first hand trying to get around with a child in a wheelchair, I will affirm that the country as a whole is just not set up for those with mobility issues. Their medical system seems to be on a cash basis also, so some parents just cannot afford to have their medically needy children treated.  There are many, many handicapped children in the orphanages.

There is also the one-child law in China, with the tradition of  a son taking care of his parents in their old age.  A daughter joins her husband's family leaving parents of a daughter without a "retirement" plan so to speak.  So traditionally a girl has been much more likely to be abandoned.  In this day of ultrasounds that can pretty accurately predict the sex of the child, there don't seem to be the number of healthy newborn girls found any more.

For reasons known only to their biological parents, our girls are counted among those who were found in the year of 2006.  Both were found in very public places.  We were able to visit their finding spots as stated in the police reports.  It was sobering to walk through these places.  I found myself searching faces that looked similar to those of our girls.

Walking near the hospital where one of oure girls was found.

Jen was found inside the hospital building up these stairs.

Abigail was found near the gate of this hospital.

Outside the orphanage

We believe their orphanage to be one of the really good ones.  I was impressed with the care and affection that the staff appeared to have for the children.  The building was very clean.   It was a  large, multistory building that housed not only the orphanage, but also a medical center and a section for older or handicapped people.  There was also a section dedicated to an NGO (non government organization) that housed a school.  The rooms there were decorated with appealing images and color, much like any preschool you'd see in our country.  They are doing a good work there!

Part of the medical section, hospital type beds I assume

View out the window

Playground in the courtyard

Our girls' classroom

Jen in her classroom

Inside the orphanage

Abigail had been in melt down mode off and on since coming to us, so we really thought long and hard about taking her back to visit.  But we felt we owed it to our girls to get as much information about their past as we were able, and to give them the chance to say their good byes.  Abigail's initial reaction wasn't much, but she began crying when a staff member spoke to her.  This continued off and on until it was nearly time to leave.  When it became apparent that our visit was over, she was suddenly cheerful again.  Our visit ended up being a turning point in our relationship.

Jen seemed to enjoy the attention and "introducing" us to her former caretakers and friends.

Jen poses for a good bye picture with teachers and staff

Another highlight on our trip was Tikvah's eleventh birthday.  It was also the day of our appointment at the US Consulate.  Since this whole adoption adventure began, Tikvah has been saying that she wanted to get her little sisters on her birthday.  Well, we completed their paperwork to become American citizens on that day (effective upon entering the USA) so we are calling it close enough!

After our appointment we went to a nearby park.  While the little girls played on the playground, Tikvah played with her new hackey sack.

She chose Pizza Hut for our lunch and we got a stuffed crust.  They make it a little differently in China, with the stuffed part being almost a ball of cheese.  It was probably horrible for us, but it tasted pretty good!  Oh something else different was not finding bread sticks on the menu, but getting waffle fries as an appetizer!

After lunch Ethan took the Little Princesses back to play in the room while Tikvah and I ventured out to the department store on our own.  She got some little toy animals that she collects and we also found a REALLY good cake.

I had been told the desserts in China aren't ever as good as the ones here.  This one was better!  It was so, so rich with dark chocolate frosting in several layers - much like a torte - that one couldn't eat a very large piece of it.  The man at the bakery was so nice that he even thought to ask us if we needed candles, and he threw in those plus a server, plates and forks at no extra charge!

We had just finished our feast on this cake when our doorbell rang - yes this hotel had doorbells.  It was a hotel employee with a fantastical cake creation and a card from the manager of the hotel. 

Apparently when we checked in the staff took note from our passports that Tikvah would have a birthday during our stay.  We were so surprised at their thoughtfulness.  

In case you can't tell from the photo, there is a block of yellow cake under those decorated pieces of solid chocolate!  I'd say it was a memorable birthday.

 

After two long weeks our legal process was completed and we were ready to come home.  WOW, were we ready to come home!  Many have asked how the trip home was and my reply is always, "AWFUL!"  So, rather than focus on the not so pleasant memory, I will make the description of the trip brief - even though the trip itself was anything but!

Our guide picked us up at the hotel a little before 5pm for a 9:30 flight.  The long wait was made even longer by a flight delay.  Tikvah was running a fever (had spent the entire day in bed!) and the other two girls were on a crying meltdown since it was long after their bed time.

The international flight was twelve hours and we hoped they would sleep for much of it.  Since Abigail was still preferring Baba (Ethan) at this point and poor Tikvah needed someone to look after her, we decided that Ethan would sit with the Two Little Princesses in their row, and Tikvah and I would sit together in our part of the row behind them.  After the flight attendant ejected someone from our seats that is what we did.

I can sum up the trip in six words - "Our girls don't like to fly!"   I am with them!  The stranger in the seat next to me kept putting her bare toes into my side all night (when she wasn't smooching with her significant other!)  and the poor gentleman behind us was launching in his flight bag. So glad that Tikvah DID sleep - ewww!

Many hours of crying  (and many more trips to the restroom on the plane later) we finally arrived in Los Angeles.  I was so, so excited to land in America, and anxious to hear ENGLISH again.  An announcement came on - in Spanish - WHAT?  LOL!

The papers resulting from the all important Consulate appointment were handed over in their sealed envelopes to the immigrations people in LA.  They were courteous and professional, and did their best to process our howling children quickly.  Our girls became American citizens, just like that!

Our next flight was just a few hours to Chicago.   Some nice people on the plane changed seats so that most of the family could sit near one another.  Lucky Baba got all the children this time and I "got to" sit between two men.  One was attempting to sleep and our yowling girls didn't help that process, but everyone was gracious (or at least kept quiet about it!)

At last in Chicago we had a little time to breathe and unwind a bit.  We got breakfast from McDonald's - and were very thankful for it!  I changed the Little Princesses into nice dresses and brushed their hair for their homecoming visitors who would be at the next airport.  The rest of us?  We simply didn't care any more!  I did have a change for us, but we were confident our family would still love us in our crumpled travel clothes, and we were too weary to change them.

I've spared you the tales of most of the howling, people on the plane literally and actually for real CLAPPING when we were allowed to take our girls out of their seat belts and pick them up, the youngest running off and temper tantrums including throwing a tub of open yogurt in the airport..... I will cut to the good stuff.  WE ARRIVED HOME!!!!   

Our wonderful friends and family descending upon the Cincinnati airport!

Thanks to a tip from an airport employee, they set up this home base - complete with coffee and snacks - in a room just off the hallway where we would come off the plane.

Here we come!

Our first look into the room at all the people, Welcome Home signs, and balloons!

I was so, so happy to see my sweet grandchildren again!

Words cannot express how nice it was to get home!  Things like clean restrooms and not having to watch for cars driving ON THE SIDEWALKS will likely never be taken for granted again!  But it was our friends and family that made the homecoming so, so very special.  These folks supported us, helped with countless fundraisers, prayed for us, and even cried with us at times while in the process, and then provided meals and friendship for sleep deprived Lanzes upon our return.  Thank you!