f o u N d - an adoption story

My children were invited to be a part of this video that was the senior project of a friend.  She is a Communications major who interned with Dr. Mary Staat at the Cincinnati Children's International Adoption Center and this video was donated to them for their use.  I am privileged to know many of these great kids. Their stories are all true.  Enjoy!

The Whole-Brain Child Workbook

This book IS actually a workbook, complete with room to write one's responses after thinking them through. It refers numerous times to the book “The Whole Brained Child” which makes perfect sense, but which I was unaware of when I requested to review the workbook. Still, there is much to be gained in using the workbook as a standalone. Also, when referring to significant quotes from the main book, it does replicate them within the workbook to bring us up to speed.

The workbook begins with a description of left brain (facts) and right brain (emotions) and the goal of helping your child to use BOTH sides of their brain – their whole brain – to process their thoughts and responses. The first step towards this goal is for us, the parent to evaluate how WE respond to the child. Then we are shown how to connect with our right brain and redirect with our left brain.

Numerous “big feeling” situations are suggested and we're invited to look at various options to help our child through them. We're also invited to look at how effective our typical response is. Whole brain strategies are suggested along with discussions and some hands-on projects to help your child understand the concept of the “upstairs” (rational) and “downstairs” (reactive) brain functions.

We're called to be aware of explicit memories (conscious recollection of a past event) and implicit memories (expectations based on past happenings) in order to help our child overcome problematic auto responses. Ways are suggested to help a child talk through these memories and there are even several ideas for games one can create to work through these feelings.

We're called to look at the significant people in our child's life and the effect they have on them. Are there any actions we should take based upon these reflections?
 
One of the final thoughts is to look at our family “fun factor.” Often just taking ourselves less seriously helps where the child is concerned!

This is a book where you will want to pick and choose activities. Some of the deep breathing and imagery were a bit much for my particular tastes, but there are lots of ideas to be found here and I think you'll find many of them helpful. From my viewpoint of parenting children from “hard places” I plan to implement several of their ideas.

Book Review: Attacking Anxiety

  Attacking Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Guide to an Engaging Approach to Treating Anxiety and Phobias in Children with Autism and Other Developmental Disabilities

Yes, I realize that my last three posts have been book reviews!  Typically summer is the time that I can educate MYSELF before moving on to another year of home schooling.  I've read quite a few books this summer, and I know that my visitors may be interested in the particular ones I've chosen to share.  I hope you find this helpful. This was another pre-release book (due out July 21) that I received in exchange for an honest review.

The authors wrote this book especially with children diagnosed with autism spectrum, but those of us with children experiencing phobias due to institutional living will also benefit from their research.  It begins with defining phobia and explaining how it evolves over time.  They then give an overview of the treatment for phobias using Cognitive Behavioral Treatment.  This wasn't an "easy" read, but one that contained technical terms and required really paying attention to what I was reading.  These first two chapters required the most concentration and it got a little easier as the authors really got into their treatment model using gradual exposure, humor and interactive play.  Don't know what that means?  Yeah, I didn't either until I read the book.  But, I found that I had actually been using some of the principles with Jen who was my most medically traumatized from her years in the orphanage.  We made a special effort over the course of several months to stop in the Children's Hospital snack shop to get treats so she would learn to associate the building with something other than being frightened.

Once I got to chapter four it all began to click as the authors laid out a four-step treatment model which began with identifying the key trigger components of the feared situation and the instructions to "unbundle" the phobia.  The following chapters gave specific ideas used to help children severely afraid of things such as thunderstorms, bugs, various environmental sounds (flushing, hand dryers, vacuum cleaners), medical procedures, and more.  These were spot on, specific ideas not something vague.

The final chapter is about working with other professionals to meet the goal of treating the phobias.  Ideas to work with a physical, occupational or speech therapist, school counselor, even a favorite adult friend are included.  There is even a section to help you formulate your child's IEP (if that relates to you) to include the how's and why's so as to justify the accommodations within your school.

 The grand finale of Attacking Anxiety is in the form of an appendix to help you get started.  These many ideas are suggested to help spark your own creativity as you "unbundle" your child's phobias.  You'll find the fear of washing hair, of emotions, of new foods, of touching textures and many more.  Full of practical ideas.  If your child has extreme anxiety, you may find some help here.

Mission Accomplished

If you've been a reader of my blog for any time you are aware that Jennifer came to us with an extreme case of medical anxiety.  She informed us early on that "Doctors hurt me."  Merely driving BY a medical facility caused her to panic and SCREAM, much like an ambulance siren! 

Sometimes it is a difficult balance to guard against further psychological trauma, be watchful for attachment issues (and things that could upset the attachment) and still get our children the medical attention that they actually need.  The doctor at the CP clinic has wanted an MRI of Jen's brain for many months.  Since it wasn't something urgent it has been put on hold until I felt Jennifer was attached well enough to trust me with it, and until she wouldn't totally freak out when we walked through the door. She has done so much better when seeing a physician lately that it seemed reasonable to try getting the requested MRI.

Jen cannot hold still for any amount of time so an MRI with sedation was required.  Our local Children's Hospital is fabulous with really tending to the child's needs overall.  They explained to her what was going to happen this day.  They took the time to allow her to smell the different "flavors" of gas that she could have, and even inquired as to the name of the little stuffed doggy friend that came to the hospital with her.  Jennifer was allowed to sit on my lap while they administered the sleepy gas.  She panicked a little when they applied the mask, but she dosed off pretty quickly.  I was called back to recovery when she had just started to wake up.  We went home shortly thereafter.  At home, Jen was treated to a lazy day and exclusive rights to picking the movies.

It has been a week since the procedure, and I've been watching for signs of regression but she seems to have taken it in stride. I'm so happy to have reached the place that Jennifer appears to trust that I'll make the right choice for her.  This is such a HUGE breakthrough for us! 

Growing Feet...

Growing feet leads to this:

Don't worry!  Jen didn't break a leg.  She is simply outgrowing her AFOs. (Ankle Foot Orthosis)  She was casted at therapy this week to measure her for new ones.  She chose a kitty cat design with yellow foam this time.  Snazzy.....

I love how she can smile through the medical appointments now!  It wasn't that long ago that she SCREAMED when she saw anyone who vaguely resembled a doctor.

Jenisms

Our middle girl has been amusing today.  This morning began with some funny Jenisms!  It started at breakfast.  We've been teaching the girls how to make requests politely. You know... "May I...... please?" So this morning Jen asked, "May I have more cereal?"

And I replied, "What do you say?" 

Her answer - "Yeah!" Guess I need to work a little more on the please thing....

 BUT, she is catching on to something I'm telling her, even if she isn't actually doing it.  Jen frequently grasps the front bar on her walker which of course causes it to fall over. This morning as she crashed onto the floor again, and I looked to see if she was ok she said, "Hold the handles." Sigh.

Jennifer has been our child that was the most affected by institutional care.  While the other two royalty had the benefit of spending some time with a foster family, Jen never did.  Seven years of being basically invisible (as near as I can tell she wasn't special to anyone) left her with little trust in people, and really having no idea of how to function in a family.  She also doesn't know how to cope with changes in her schedule or routine.

Another BIG problem has been receiving medical care.  She has been so terrified that even seeing a sign to any of the doctor offices we go to has often resulted in screaming and big crocodile tears.  She has told me on numerous occasions, "Doctor hurt me."  There was some kind of bad experience in her past, for sure.

Jen has made great strides as she has begun to trust us.  After delaying some appointments and tests for several months to give her the time she needed to adjust, we are at last able to go to a doctor without her going into a panic.  Yesterday she had a renal scan (kidneys) and did SUPER!  I'm a huge believer in reinforcing and rewarding good behavior, so she  got to choose what we had for lunch. She chose a hamburger and fries in case you are curious, and also got a chocolate Frosty.  We followed this kid approved lunch with an afternoon at the park.  Yay for progress!