My husband is a GENIUS!

This old lady is having trouble lifting two wheelchairs and a weighted walker in and out of our big van when I go anywhere with the kids by myself.  So Ethan and I went to a medical supply store this weekend to try out ramps. The aluminum one weighs FORTY-SIX pounds, and then I would have to wrestle it through the side aisle in the van. Definitely NOT an improvement.

We've come to the conclusion that we are going to have to have a lift.  But a lift doesn't happen in a weekend.  We will need to seek funding for one (they are very expensive -- hopefully insurance will help!) and then it will need to be ordered and professionally installed. In the meantime I was desperate to have SOMETHING to help me get the equipment into the van.  

Last night Ethan took the boys outside with him to work on a project.  Look what he did!

This is for pushing ONLY the chairs up - no kids in them, and is a temporary fix until we can get a ramp, but wow.  It surely saved my back today!  If anyone else is in a similar situation here is what he did.

 

He used two, 2" x 6" boards and trimmed the corners to fit in our bumper.  Also note the cord.  He drilled holes and put a knotted cord through the top part and the bottom part so even I can get the boards properly spaced to hold the wheels.

 

 

This man knows me well, so he built outside "guards" so I don't run the wheels off the boards.

They are lightweight, and flat enough to stash UNDER the seats.

I'm so thankful for this, and my kids will be too.  It means we will get to go out to fun places more often!  If you think of it please be praying that we eventually find what we need in a lift.  Thanks!

Spring Baseball Season

The spring baseball season has started, and a certain four children are SUPER excited to be back on the field!  This photo was taken following their first game.  Want to see why?  Check out the video below where they get to play.  It is such a special time for the kids and the parents too!

Or see the short video of the league HERE!

f o u N d - an adoption story

My children were invited to be a part of this video that was the senior project of a friend.  She is a Communications major who interned with Dr. Mary Staat at the Cincinnati Children's International Adoption Center and this video was donated to them for their use.  I am privileged to know many of these great kids. Their stories are all true.  Enjoy!

Adopting a Child with Cerebral Palsy

World Cerebral Palsy Day is the 1st Wednesday of October each year.  In honor of my children who face this every day of their lives, and in honor of "Susy" whom I advocate for, I'm reposting an article that I wrote for another publication several months ago.

 In the mid 1980's our family adopted two biological brothers from the USA's foster care system. Both were diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Fast forward to 2013 when we first adopted from China, cerebral palsy was a special need that was familiar to us and one we were confident in handling.

According to http://cerebralpalsy.org, “Cerebral palsy is considered a neurological disorder caused by a non-progressive brain injury or malformation that occurs while the child’s brain is under development. Cerebral palsy primarily affects body movement and muscle coordination.“ So while cerebral palsy is a permanent condition, it doesn't become “worse.” My experience has been that consistent therapy improves skills tremendously. 
 
Everyone is wired a bit differently, and for me, dealing with an ongoing mobility issue was nonthreatening. Let's be real; as an older mom (who moves a little slower myself these days) taking a more leisurely pace to wait for a child with mobility issues wasn't going to change my life THAT much. I was far more afraid of a life threatening special need, or one requiring many surgeries and hospitalizations. Those of you who face those situations every day have my highest respect. It just wasn't something that I felt equipped to handle. Our girls came to us at the age of six and seven years, from the same orphanage, and both diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

A diagnosis of cerebral palsy can be tricky to understand since it can present itself in so many ways. The child might merely have weakness on one side of their body; they could be wheelchair bound and require help with all of their personal needs, or anything in between. When you couple a somewhat catch all diagnosis with the probable lack of stimulation in an institutional setting it becomes very difficult to know what you may face when your child comes home.

This is the story of our two little girls, close in age, from the same orphanage with a similar diagnosis, and how differently the diagnosis presented itself. The diagnosis presented differently not only because of the severity of the CP, but also in large part due to how differently they were raised, even within the same institution. This is also the story of how far someone can advance their skills when given the chance.

Abigail's long, beautiful hair was the outward evidence of her favor with the staff. She lived in a foster apartment inside her orphanage. She spent much of her daytime hours in the physical therapy room at her SWI. During our process for Abigail we received numerous updated photos from the SWI, and it was very evident that someone cared very much about her.

Jennifer's original referral photo looked as if she was a boy. Like so many of the girls from her SWI, her hair was cut in a short bob, and she wore the school uniform. She spent much of her time sitting in her wheelchair, unable to participate in the camps that agencies held, or the field trips that the more mobile children experienced. Were it not for other adoptive parents visiting the SWI, we wouldn't have received even one additional photo of her during our adoption process. When we visited the SWI and asked questions it seemed as if our daughter had been invisible. No one seemed to know anything about her.

“Family Day” was a dramatically different experience for our girls. Abigail was terrified and came to us screaming, while literally being dragged by a nanny on each side. Jennifer was wheeled out calmly in her chair, took my hand and looked at me as if to say, “What took you so long?”

Abigail refused to let me touch her for an entire week. The only time I could get near was when I painted her fingernails! Jennifer pretty much soaked up all the attention I could give her. But once we arrived home they totally reversed roles. Abigail quickly settled in to family life, having been part of a family before. Jennifer was in shock. We witnessed many rages with throwing (and breaking) things, hitting, biting, and at bedtime she would scream for up to two hours. This wasn't a normal, “I don't want to go to sleep” cry, but a deafening, guttural sound unlike any noise I had ever heard. She had no understanding of a family, no coping skills, and no means to self regulate. Inside was a little girl who desperately wanted to fit in and “be like everyone else” but she simply couldn't find her way through.

Jennifer has come a long way in two years. While an occasional melt down still happens, we have learned to watch for triggers to preempt them. With lots of love and patience she is learning to self regulate. Her bedtime screaming routine has long since become just a bad memory. She has blossomed into a cherished daughter who enthusiastically takes every opportunity offered to her. Jen's is a moderate CP diagnosis, presenting with very tight muscles. She wears knee high AFOs (orthodics). As of the summer of 2015 she is only using her walker when we are away from home. Her therapist is very optimistic that in time she will no longer require it at all.. Her incontinence (which required diapers when she came to us) ended up being caused by overactive bladder. Medicine taken once a day has totally made the difference for her. Her dream to be “like the other kids?” She is achieving it through her determination to keep trying.

 I'm happy to report that Abigail is now a “Mama's girl.” While Jen prefers to be outdoors on the swingset or in the sandbox, Abigail would rather hang around with me inside and watch (or help!) with the housework. She remains much more timid about trying new experiences. Hers is a mild CP diagnosis, presenting primarily as weakness. She walks with a wide gate, wears ankle high AFOs, and her speech is very poor. She is extremely bright and has an impressive vocabulary in American Sign Language which helps us to understand her better. Her therapist is optimistic that she has not yet reached her potential with verbal skills.

Living with cerebral palsy often means regular ongoing therapy. We are fortunate to be able to schedule both of the girls at the same clinic at the same time, so our hours there do double duty! Our girls receive therapy twice a week, and they include Speech, Occupational and Physical Therapy.

My point? Two girls from the same orphanage, adopted at the same time with a similar diagnosis are as different as night and day. And really, isn't that often the case with biological siblings also? Our girls are individuals who are so much more than their CP diagnosis. A loving family, proper therapy, and in Jen's case medical equipment and medication have changed their lives. Cerebral palsy really isn't so scary. 

While you may not be able to tell a child's potential from their file, you can predict that whatever their situation, their lives will be so much better with the love of a family and the medical support available in the States. I have found it (four times over!) to be a manageable need. If you are considering adoption, will you please give "Susy's" file a serious look?  She is a gorgeous little girl from China who will be six in November.  Her file states her special need as being Cerebral Palsy, but really her biggest need is that of a family!

 Her file is on the "shared list" which means any agency can facilitate her adoption.  I've spoken with a case manager at WACAP  (they handled three of our adoptions and I highly recommend them) and was told that they would give a $4000 grant towards Susy's adoption expenses (they call her Zuza) when using their agency.  Please give her a chance!

 
UPDATE:  My advocacy for Susy has paid off, and she has a family working hard to quickly process their paperwork!  WE ended up getting our Preapproval from China in December of 2015.  We are thrilled that we get to be her parents!

 

First Day of Co-op

We are attending a different homeschool co-op this year -- for several reasons.  One of the biggies was our schedule. With two mornings tied up with therapies, our old co-op required taking yet a third day away from home in the middle of the week to allow the kids to attend.  In one way the week is easier now because we can go from Monday morning therapy quickly into an afternoon co-op.  In another way it makes Monday a REALLY long day.  Today was our first day.

Let's be brutally honest.  Going someplace new can be intimidating for us.  Some people don't know how to react to our children and their special needs.  We aren't always embraced cause let's face it.  We don't look "normal," we move slower, we may require an extra explanation (or two), Miss A does quite a bit of her communicating in sign language, and Pat doesn't totally "get" the English language yet.  We were upfront with our needs when we registered, and our new co-op was very accepting of us.  We were happy to find cheerful, friendly faces today, and the special needs were really not a big deal.   The kids all seemed to like their new classes too.

The three younger kids are in a lapbook class about Native Americans (great way to learn some American history!) and a class about holidays.  THIS is marvelous!

Our biological kids grew up with the holidays and learned over the years why we celebrate each one.  Our kids from China haven't had the benefit of  these lifelong traditions, and I know I haven't always done such a great job explaining the history of them.

Today we studied about President's Day, and specifically George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.  The teacher had the classroom looking festive with red, white and blue balloons.  She gave a short history lesson about both presidents, then there was a craft with the silhouette of the two presidents on it.  Each child began a 2016 calendar on which each holiday, as well as family birthdays are written.  At the end of the semester they will have a calendar for next year labeled with these special days as well as the holidays they studied. The class ended with cupcakes, candles and singing Happy Birthday!  Yeah, they can hardly wait for next week!

How to Make an Apple Pie and See the World

We officially began our school year this week and are using the Five In A Row curriculum.  If you aren't familiar with it,  FIAR concentrates on a specific classic children's book which is read each day of the school week - thus Five in a Row.  Allowing for therapy and co-op in our schedule we are actually only doing our unit study 3-4 days a week so most of our "rows" will be a couple of weeks long.  In addition to this unit study I work with each child daily in English, Reading, Writing and Math.  The girls also have speech, occupational, and physical therapy.

The first book for our unit study was "How to Make an Apple Pie and See the World."

The first thing we did was to make "suitcases" and passports.

 In the book a girl wants to make an apple pie and sets out to get FRESH ingredients.  She gathers wheat from Italy, eggs from France ( a chicken actually)  milk from England (a cow) cinnamon from Sri Lanka, etc.  It was a fun story that the kids enjoyed a lot!  We put story disks on our large world map for each of the countries that were visited.

 And since the kids knew nothing about wheat we tasted some wheat berries and then ground some into flour.

Apparently my camera got wheat "dust" on it!

 We used the flour to make an apple crisp. 

While it was cooking we watched a YouTube video about harvesting wheat by a couple of different methods:  with a tractor and threshing by hand.  Our apple crisp finished baking and was so yummy that I totally forgot to take a picture until Abigail was down to her last bite!

YUM!

The second day began with apple pancakes, then we made diagrams of the life cycle of an apple.

We found that Reading Rainbow has an episode featuring our book, so that was a must to watch.  A chef in this episode made a lasagne using rice instead of noodles.  So with my kids (and their love affair with rice) OF COURSE we had to give it a try.  Off we went to the market to buy our fresh ingredients.

I LOVE the Caroline's Cart!

We also made sausage stuffed apples for dinner.

On our third day after reading How to Make an Apple Pie and See the World we also read Ten Apples Up On Top just for fun - and a little more exposure to beginning math concepts.

We began a "FoldNLearn" which is like a lapbook. You can get these free printables by subscribing to the Five in a Row Blog.

We made a paper flag of and watched a video tour of Italy, which is where our book character went to get wheat.  My kids LOVE pizza, so when it was mentioned of course we HAD to have some!  Caramel apples for snack time.

And while not a part of the Five in a Row curriculum, I'm thrilled to report that Isaac read THREE beginning readers to me today!  Yessssssssssssssssss!  He loves to read in Chinese, but this is huge for him to read English!

YouTube is a great place to find things to add interest to your FIAR studies.  I found this playlist that tours the various countries mentioned in the story, as well as covering some other concepts like the life cycle of the apple.  Playlist here

On our fourth and last day of this week (we were off for Labor Day Monday) we video toured France, listened to their national anthem a couple of times, made a French flag and did our FoldNLearn page.  Isaac is especially interested in why the country chose the colors that it did and always asks about its meaning.

This "row" was continued into the next week where we learned about England

Sri Lanka whose flag is very difficult to make!

And Jamaica.

We listened to reggae music while we did our FoldNLearn.

Inside Jen's FoldNLearn

And on to our third week where we had just a couple of days to spend on our unit studies.  The highlight of the week was a visit to an apple orchard to pick apples.  The farm we went to had small trees with the apples low enough that even my kids with mobility issues were able to pick.

 And back at the house the following day we ended our unit with "visiting" Vermont and making an apple pie.

What a fun few weeks of learning!!

Baseball!!!!!

Today our youngest four kids tried their hand at BASEBALL!!!  The  Joe Nuxhall Miracle League gives children with special needs the opportunity to feel "normal" for a change.  It seems that our children's lives have been full of the things that they CANNOT do, so today was just so awesome!
 
 See Jen's smile?  It was there the entire time.  As you may remember she was pretty much invisible in her orphanage, not allowed to participate in most of the activities because of her mobility issues.  She was sooooooo excited to play.  And let's just say she charmed the crowd.  They were cheering her and her BIG SMILE on to the home plate where she stopped and bowed to them.  LOL! At one point the announcer called her "Miss Personality" and referred to her as his favorite. 

Can you imagine?  Just two years ago she was special to no one, and today a group of parents WHO GET IT were there cheering her on.  It was such a special time for her!

Each child was paired with a "Buddy" who gave them as much (or as little) help as they needed.  No surprise that Isaac needed very little help.  Also no surprise that he could hit that ball HARD!  And he has a new nickname - WHEELS.  As he zoomed into home plate the announcer jokingly said, "Wheels!  You are going to get a speeding ticket!"

Pat and Abigail in the outfield.

In the dugout.

In the dugout.

You know, we all have our challenges.  I could give you a list of things that this fifty-some year old body is struggling with these days.  But most of my needs aren't visible.  People don't stare and ask questions when I walk by.  But my kids with visible needs -- they have spent their lives being stared at and feeling different when all they want is to just live their lives and fit in like everyone else.  Today they had that chance.  It was totally worth getting up at 7AM on a Saturday to make it happen.  Looking forward to spending the next several Saturday mornings with this league.

With their "Buddies."

Decorating the Tree

Oh the excitement as the tree is untied and readied to decorate!

Every year we add ornaments to each child's personal collection.  Isaac even had a few that we had gotten him last year in preparation for his homecoming.  He was surprised that he had a box with ornaments!  So many of our lights had burned out that after the personal ornaments went on we took a break until the next day so we could get a few more lights.

Decorating resumed the following morning. When a wheelchair and walker are added into the mix, decorating gets a little bit more crowded and confusing, but everyone got involved and had fun.

Jen is a REALLY hard worker, and she stayed on to fuss with ornaments long after the other kids had called it, "good enough."

What we are hoping for this Christmas is our LOA from China!  We hope you all have a blessed Christmas season!

First Snow

Isaac has been asking every time the weather gets the slightest bit chilly, "So it snow now?"  He got his wish this week when we awoke to find this.

So began the hunt for hats and mittens and snow pants and boots....  I was feeling very lucky indeed that we had a pair of boots that would actually fit over Jen's AFOs.  (plastic braces on her feet and legs.)

And out we all went into the cold.

Isaac stopped to trade out his new wheelchair for his old one.  He uses the old one for outdoor play.

 Four happy kids!  Tikvah headed to the back yard to have a snowball fight with some neighborhood kids, while her younger siblings stayed in front to slide down our small hill.

 

Just imagine the FUN these three had!  They are all from the southern part of China, so in terms of climate think Florida.  Yeah, it was a wonderland!

Soon Tikvah and her friends wanted a warm up break.  Abigail thought that was a grand idea too and came in for hot chocolate, soup and sandwiches.

 

But my two who have mobility issues, THEY could not be convinced to come in.  The fast and smooth movement is something they don't have a lot of in their lives and they crave it.  They went down this small hill so many times, playing happily for another hour or so!

 

Here is a little two second video that I accidentally ended up with.  Apparently Jen was the ringleader.  Amazingly, it was timed perfectly to hear her say, "Ready?" to Isaac.

 

 They finally tired - I can't imagine the energy they burned dragging themselves back UP with their little sleds.  They had an amazing afternoon!