Discovery

Pretty dresses today, just because I can. I cut Jen's bangs so they would stay out of her eyes, and she was so excited to have her hair fixed pretty. I'm still learning about being a Mama to Asian children. One discovery I made today is that when Jen smiles, her eyes disappear! We tried many, many times and I never could get her with her eyes open. The three of us were a giggling mess by the time I gave up.

Butterflies

It has been a butterfly week around here.  As a homeschool mom, I'm always on the prowl for opportunities to add FUN learning into our lives. 

On Sunday I printed several butterfly coloring pages and life cycle worksheets for Tikvah and the Little Princesses.  We talked butterflies, we signed butterflies (we are learning sign language around here since both girls have severe speech issues), we THOUGHT we communicated that we were going to see a BIG butterfly movie.  Everyone seemed so excited about it! 

On our way to the theater Jen started crying (as usual) because she thought we were going to the doctor.  NO IDEA WHY she is terrified of the doctor.  We finally arrived, handed her a brochure with an ad for the butterfly movie and thought she understood.  We purchased our tickets. Everyone was happy again and seemingly excited to see the movie. 

The minute we walked through the door and sat down Abigail started fussing.  Why?  I have no idea.  Ethan took her into the hallway hoping to bring her back in once the movie began. The lights went out and Jen's screaming turned on.  Well ...Tikvah and I enjoyed the butterfly movie by ourselves. Note to self:  When we try a movie again, don't bring them in until it has started so they can SEE what a movie is all about.  I think they would have enjoyed it had they given it a chance.  Forty-five minutes later when the movie was over, we stopped at the conservatory with a picnic dinner.  The girls sat on the butterfly bench and had the opportunity to get a little acquainted with the outside of the place. This was strategic on our part.

Today we took an adult daughter to the airport downtown then went back to the conservatory hoping to go into their live butterfly area in the gardens.  I was a little nervous that the word "butterfly" would send them into another panic.  While the ride over there did set Jen off (someone tell me why she is so terrified of doctors, please?) they both loved seeing the real butterflies!

A butterfly landed on our paper flower so we were able to get a good look at it!

Jen with a friend and a butterfly

Tikvah tried for a long time to coax this brilliant blue butterfly into landing.

Tikvah with friends and butterflies

The name of our game these days seems to be "Flexible".  We continue to expose our Little Princesses to the wide world around them realizing that sometimes it will be too scary or stimulating to succeed.  Today was a success! 

Our First Days at Home

The welcomes didn't end when we left our airport party.  We discovered this great "Welcome Home" sign in our yard as we drove up.  The children of a good friend made it for us!  So fun!  We also discovered that meals were lined up for us for the next couple of weeks.  What a huge blessing that was!

Our of our married daughters and her family brought Chinese take-out and we had a nice lunch with them in our home.  It was a rather bizarre day of not really knowing if it was day or night.  We went to bed about 4pm having been awake for most of the last 45 hours.  The girls got up at four the next morning.  Out of consideration to the rest of our sleeping household, we took them out shopping.  Thank goodness for 24 hour stores in America!

Our stores seemed so huge, and clean, but WHERE were all the people?  It felt like we were on a deserted planet after the thousands of people on the streets in China.  It was also a little strange driving myself after two weeks of having either a van driver or taxi who took us everywhere in China.

I had counted on buying Asian dolls for the girls in China.  It was really sad when I was told by our shopping guide that parents there think toy dolls are too expensive, and we'd not be able to find them.  She advised me to order them when we got back home.  SO....a few days after we arrived home, the UPS man delivered a box containing Asian baby dolls for the girls.  They have had such fun feeding bottles to these little dolls.

They always enjoy playgrounds.

 When we'd been home for a week we made a two hour road trip to a birthday party for our two year old grand daughter.  The trip there was very pleasant, though they had tired of the drive by the trip home. 

Jen enjoyed the party and playing with her nieces and nephews.

Abigail is still unsure with unfamiliar people, so she spent most of the party hiding out on my lap.

A highlight of their time with us was getting this little pool in our backyard.  I am convinced they think they are fish!  They will play for hours in this thing!

Cold, but happy Little Princesses!

Another big love of theirs is blowing bubbles.  This is another thing that they will do for a L-O-N-G time!

We've been having some fun times (and some not-so-fun, like bedtime!)  but are getting closer to finding that "new normal."  We are very happy to have our Little Princesses at home, and thank each of you for your prayers and support, and friendship through this process.

The Princesses Come Home at Last!

After two long weeks our legal process was completed and we were ready to come home.  WOW, were we ready to come home!  Many have asked how the trip home was and my reply is always, "AWFUL!"  So, rather than focus on the not so pleasant memory, I will make the description of the trip brief - even though the trip itself was anything but!

Our guide picked us up at the hotel a little before 5pm for a 9:30 flight.  The long wait was made even longer by a flight delay.  Tikvah was running a fever (had spent the entire day in bed!) and the other two girls were on a crying meltdown since it was long after their bed time.

The international flight was twelve hours and we hoped they would sleep for much of it.  Since Abigail was still preferring Baba (Ethan) at this point and poor Tikvah needed someone to look after her, we decided that Ethan would sit with the Two Little Princesses in their row, and Tikvah and I would sit together in our part of the row behind them.  After the flight attendant ejected someone from our seats that is what we did.

I can sum up the trip in six words - "Our girls don't like to fly!"   I am with them!  The stranger in the seat next to me kept putting her bare toes into my side all night (when she wasn't smooching with her significant other!)  and the poor gentleman behind us was launching in his flight bag. So glad that Tikvah DID sleep - ewww!

Many hours of crying  (and many more trips to the restroom on the plane later) we finally arrived in Los Angeles.  I was so, so excited to land in America, and anxious to hear ENGLISH again.  An announcement came on - in Spanish - WHAT?  LOL!

The papers resulting from the all important Consulate appointment were handed over in their sealed envelopes to the immigrations people in LA.  They were courteous and professional, and did their best to process our howling children quickly.  Our girls became American citizens, just like that!

Our next flight was just a few hours to Chicago.   Some nice people on the plane changed seats so that most of the family could sit near one another.  Lucky Baba got all the children this time and I "got to" sit between two men.  One was attempting to sleep and our yowling girls didn't help that process, but everyone was gracious (or at least kept quiet about it!)

At last in Chicago we had a little time to breathe and unwind a bit.  We got breakfast from McDonald's - and were very thankful for it!  I changed the Little Princesses into nice dresses and brushed their hair for their homecoming visitors who would be at the next airport.  The rest of us?  We simply didn't care any more!  I did have a change for us, but we were confident our family would still love us in our crumpled travel clothes, and we were too weary to change them.

I've spared you the tales of most of the howling, people on the plane literally and actually for real CLAPPING when we were allowed to take our girls out of their seat belts and pick them up, the youngest running off and temper tantrums including throwing a tub of open yogurt in the airport..... I will cut to the good stuff.  WE ARRIVED HOME!!!!   

Our wonderful friends and family descending upon the Cincinnati airport!

Thanks to a tip from an airport employee, they set up this home base - complete with coffee and snacks - in a room just off the hallway where we would come off the plane.

Here we come!

Our first look into the room at all the people, Welcome Home signs, and balloons!

I was so, so happy to see my sweet grandchildren again!

Words cannot express how nice it was to get home!  Things like clean restrooms and not having to watch for cars driving ON THE SIDEWALKS will likely never be taken for granted again!  But it was our friends and family that made the homecoming so, so very special.  These folks supported us, helped with countless fundraisers, prayed for us, and even cried with us at times while in the process, and then provided meals and friendship for sleep deprived Lanzes upon our return.  Thank you!

Visiting the Finding Spots and Orphanage

It is not legal in China to give up a child for adoption.  Perhaps because of this there are hundreds upon hundreds of abandoned children.  Some are left in public places where they will be quickly and easily found.  Some are left in secret places and their fate is often grim.  The police are notified about children that are found and have to file a report.  Part of the report includes the "finding spot."

What would cause a parent to abandon their child?  Having been to China and experienced first hand trying to get around with a child in a wheelchair, I will affirm that the country as a whole is just not set up for those with mobility issues. Their medical system seems to be on a cash basis also, so some parents just cannot afford to have their medically needy children treated.  There are many, many handicapped children in the orphanages.

There is also the one-child law in China, with the tradition of  a son taking care of his parents in their old age.  A daughter joins her husband's family leaving parents of a daughter without a "retirement" plan so to speak.  So traditionally a girl has been much more likely to be abandoned.  In this day of ultrasounds that can pretty accurately predict the sex of the child, there don't seem to be the number of healthy newborn girls found any more.

For reasons known only to their biological parents, our girls are counted among those who were found in the year of 2006.  Both were found in very public places.  We were able to visit their finding spots as stated in the police reports.  It was sobering to walk through these places.  I found myself searching faces that looked similar to those of our girls.

Walking near the hospital where one of the girls was found.

Jen was found inside the hospital building up these stairs.

Abigail was found near the gate of this hospital.

In addition to visiting their finding spots we were also able to visit the orphanage where they had both lived since infants.

Outside the orphanage

We believe their orphanage to be one of the really good ones.  I was impressed with the care and affection that the staff appeared to have for the children.  The building was very clean.   It was a  large, multistory building that housed not only the orphanage, but also a medical center and a section for older or handicapped people.  There was also a section dedicated to an NGO (non government organization) that housed a school.  The rooms there were decorated with appealing images and color, much like any preschool you'd see in our country.  They are doing a good work there!

Part of the medical section, hospital type beds I assume

View out the window

Playground in the courtyard

Our girls' classroom

Jen in her classroom

Inside the orphanage

Abigail had been in melt down mode off and on since coming to us, so we really thought long and hard about taking her back to visit.  But we felt we owed it to our girls to get as much information about their past as we were able, and to give them the chance to say their good byes.  Abigail's initial reaction wasn't much, but she began crying when a staff member spoke to her.  This continued off and on until it was nearly time to leave.  When it became apparent that our visit was over, she was suddenly cheerful again.  Our visit ended up being a turning point in our relationship.

Jen seemed to enjoy the attention and "introducing" us to her former caretakers and friends.

Jen poses for a good bye picture with teachers and staff

Tikvah turned eleven!

A highlight on our trip was Tikvah's eleventh birthday.  It was also the day of our appointment at the US Consulate.  Since this whole adoption adventure began, Tikvah has been saying that she wanted to get her little sisters on her birthday.  Well, we completed their paperwork to become American citizens on that day (effective upon entering the USA) so we are calling it close enough!

After our appointment we went to a nearby park.  While the little girls played on the playground, Tikvah played with her new hackey sack.

She chose Pizza Hut for our lunch and we got a stuffed crust.  They make it a little differently in China, with the stuffed part being almost a ball of cheese.  It was probably horrible for us, but it tasted pretty good!  Oh something else different was not finding bread sticks on the menu, but getting waffle fries as an appetizer!

After lunch Ethan took the Little Princesses back to play in the room while Tikvah and I ventured out to the department store on our own.  She got some little toy animals that she collects and we also found a REALLY good cake.

I had been told the desserts in China aren't ever as good as the ones here.  This one was better!  It was so, so rich with dark chocolate frosting in several layers - much like a torte - that one couldn't eat a very large piece of it.  The man at the bakery was so nice that he even thought to ask us if we needed candles, and he threw in those plus a server, plates and forks at no extra charge!

We had just finished our feast on this cake when our doorbell rang - yes this hotel had doorbells.  It was a hotel employee with a fantastical cake creation and a card from the manager of the hotel. 

Apparently when we checked in the staff took note from our passports that Tikvah would have a birthday during our stay.  We were so surprised at their thoughtfulness.  

In case you can't tell from the photo, there is a block of yellow cake under those decorated pieces of solid chocolate!  I'd say it was a memorable birthday.

What else did we do?

So did we do anything else in China besides official appointments and touring?  Yes.  The girls could often be found as in the photo above - snacking and flipping through the TV stations with the remote.  Or as below playing with play dough.

Tikvah and I went shopping a couple of times with Ann of Red Thread http://redthreadchina.com/  She took us to the wholesale markets and got us some fantastic deals.  She also came up to the room to talk to our girls a little bit and translate for us.  If you are on an adoption trip, be sure to contact Ann.  She was so, so nice and helpful too!

Ann with Jen

Tooth brushing was a main event!

And MORE nail polish.

One of our best purchases while out shopping with Ann was little silk parasols.  The girls loved them!  They treated us to a song and dance about the rain.

We had MORE snacks -

And fed snacks to Hello Kitty.

And fed the fish. (Can you tell that eating is a favorite past time of these two?)

And walked through the gardens at the hotel.

We played at playgrounds,

and pretended to be Pleasant Goat and Big, Big Wolf.

 

We played in a little ball pit that had some rain water in it.

And we played in the pool too.

Oh, and did I mention that we ate?