Please consider your words!

We went to yet another round of doctor appointments this morning.  When a child comes home from China they spend a lot of time taking care of medical needs that perhaps haven't been addressed for many years.

It is pretty obvious that some of my children weren't born to me.  I don't look the least bit Chinese.  Many are curious about this, and if it opens their hearts to the value of the orphaned child, I'm happy to discuss it - within reason.  Usually they want to know if I have other children, then of course they have to probe that to what they really want to know which is do I have bio children also.  For the record I have six of each.  Some people can't quite grasp having several bio children AND adopting too, and in their effort to say SOMETHING  they go on and on about what wonderful people we are.

I became very uncomfortable today when the doctor praised me for "taking in these kids." I get it that they were just trying to be nice. But please, before you let the words leave your mouth stop and think of how it sounds to the child sitting in front of you. No kid wants to think they are just a charity case. Seriously, this is my son.  

The moral of this post?  All children have feelings.  If you must comment on their adoption let it be something like, "That is so wonderful that you have each other." Or as perhaps my all time FAVORITE doctor asked me, "Do you know how lucky you are to have THEM?"  (Dr. Jackson, Cincinnati Children's GETS IT, ya'll!!!)   But please don't infer to them that their joining our family was merely a rescue mission.