Attachment Book!

I am so excited to have found this book!  This is a book that your adopted children from hard places can relate to!  It is the story about a little porcupine whose mother cannot take care of her any more (we never find out what exactly happened to the mother) and is adopted by a bear family.

Porcupette is very afraid that the bear family might go away and not come back also, and in her fear she gets all prickly with her new adoptive family.  Time after time Mother Bear is patient with her, goes after her when she runs away, and still loves her even as she is having to pull quills out of her own mouth and paws.

There is a good message in there for we moms to help us understand why our little ones get so "prickly" and there is a good message in there for the children that as they let their guard down and learn to trust they can find the happiness they are craving.  It is a wonderful picture of  attachment in an adoptive family.  Can I give this one SIX stars out of five?  I loved it so much!

Meeting Friends on Ruby's Miracle Tour

I guess I've been declared an official groupie now since I stalked Ruby and her family in two different states!  Really, there is a logical explanation though.  We were invited to go to the home of Nathalie,  the advocate who was so instrumental in getting Isaac home.  This was to take place on a Sunday, but was later changed to Monday.  Going on a Monday meant that Tikvah would miss out because she had a prior commitment.  As you know, we moved to Cincinnati from Indiana about four years ago and still have adult children and grandchildren there.  So it just made a lot of sense to me to buzz back over to Indianapolis, let Tikvah meet the Saunders family, and at the same time meet up with our other kids.  This way we got to spread the love around to more of us.

Linny and Dwight  are in the process of adopting another child from China, and were excited to hear that Isaac actually KNOWS their son.  They were in the same NGO together and indeed have the same wonderful advocate!  He was able to tell them just a little bit about their boy.

Love this lady!  She is a true kindred spirit.

Then Monday came and in spite of threatening weather we made the trip to Columbus for round two!  I was so glad we did!  It was a reunion of sorts, where (as one friend put it) Facebook and real life collide.  It was so much fun bumping into others that we have so much in common with.

On Saturday Ruby was awakened from her nap to meet people, so she wasn't as interested in her friends that day.  Can't blame her, really!  But she was happy and showing off for us on Monday.  Abigail really enjoyed visiting with her.

And this lady!  I'm serious when I say she is largely responsible that Isaac is at home with us.  Advocates - You. Make. A. Difference!!!!

Linny and family are still traveling on their book tour.  They are in Virginia right now.  Watch for dates and times on Linny's Blog 

You'll be happy you went!

Book Review: Attacking Anxiety

  Attacking Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Guide to an Engaging Approach to Treating Anxiety and Phobias in Children with Autism and Other Developmental Disabilities

Yes, I realize that my last three posts have been book reviews!  Typically summer is the time that I can educate MYSELF before moving on to another year of home schooling.  I've read quite a few books this summer, and I know that my visitors may be interested in the particular ones I've chosen to share.  I hope you find this helpful. This was another pre-release book (due out July 21) that I received in exchange for an honest review.

The authors wrote this book especially with children diagnosed with autism spectrum, but those of us with children experiencing phobias due to institutional living will also benefit from their research.  It begins with defining phobia and explaining how it evolves over time.  They then give an overview of the treatment for phobias using Cognitive Behavioral Treatment.  This wasn't an "easy" read, but one that contained technical terms and required really paying attention to what I was reading.  These first two chapters required the most concentration and it got a little easier as the authors really got into their treatment model using gradual exposure, humor and interactive play.  Don't know what that means?  Yeah, I didn't either until I read the book.  But, I found that I had actually been using some of the principles with Jen who was my most medically traumatized from her years in the orphanage.  We made a special effort over the course of several months to stop in the Children's Hospital snack shop to get treats so she would learn to associate the building with something other than being frightened.

Once I got to chapter four it all began to click as the authors laid out a four-step treatment model which began with identifying the key trigger components of the feared situation and the instructions to "unbundle" the phobia.  The following chapters gave specific ideas used to help children severely afraid of things such as thunderstorms, bugs, various environmental sounds (flushing, hand dryers, vacuum cleaners), medical procedures, and more.  These were spot on, specific ideas not something vague.

The final chapter is about working with other professionals to meet the goal of treating the phobias.  Ideas to work with a physical, occupational or speech therapist, school counselor, even a favorite adult friend are included.  There is even a section to help you formulate your child's IEP (if that relates to you) to include the how's and why's so as to justify the accommodations within your school.

 The grand finale of Attacking Anxiety is in the form of an appendix to help you get started.  These many ideas are suggested to help spark your own creativity as you "unbundle" your child's phobias.  You'll find the fear of washing hair, of emotions, of new foods, of touching textures and many more.  Full of practical ideas.  If your child has extreme anxiety, you may find some help here.

Attachment Help!

I had the opportunity to review the soon-to-be released book Games and Activities the for Attaching With Your Child by Deborah D. Gray and Megan Clarke.  You probably recognize Gray as a popular author in the adoption community. She has written several titles having to do with adoption, trauma, and attachment.  She is joined in this book by several others whose work specializes in attachment.

This title is a practical handbook!  It begins with helping us to understand the value of attachment and how it in turn can contribute so much to other brain-based functions like controlling impulses and the understanding of the overall picture in life.  This is followed up by showing us the value of imagination and play and how it affects a child's development.  

After we are given the background as to WHY play is important the authors then treat us to a multitude of games and activities that we can do with our children to help promote attachment.  The ideas are well laid out, first by ages and then with chapters that show us how to use play as an attachment tool for connecting the entire family and helping siblings to build attachment.  Each activity specifies any supplies needed and suggests a time frame.  The authors even go beyond and give additional ideas for children whose background requires them to approach the games and activities in a different way or through a slower approach.  There is even a chapter on activities to help with mood and flexibility!

Even though I'm a mom with over three decades of experience, I found some new ideas and fun things to try with my children recently adopted from a Chinese orphanage. Some of my personal favorites were a new play on Row, Row, Row Your Boat, Who Is in This Family, and the (Sibling Only) Forts.

Whether you have a child newly home or several children that you are still working with to form a strong family unit, I believe you will find several ideas in this book to help in your task.  Check it out!

** I received a complementary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. **

Such a Great Read!

Linny Sanders, one of my bloggy friends recently wrote a book. 

It arrived in my mailbox yesterday and I'd finished reading it less than twenty-four hours later.  It is the true story of their little princess Ruby who was adopted from Africa. I've been a "fan" of Ruby's for quite some time.  I also feel a kindred spirit in Linny since we are both older moms with a houseful of kids still (again) at home.  In fact, her family is in process to adopt one of Isaac's friends whom he knows from his time at An Orphan's Wish!  Small world...  Anyway, I simply couldn't put the book down.

If you have a heart for the orphan or simply love stories of what faith and love can do GET THIS BOOK!!!!  Linny is currently traveling with her family, doing some speaking and book signings.  Check Linny's blog for the schedule. 

NOTE:  I was not a reviewer for this book with a complimentary copy.  I purchased it from Amazon, just like everyone else!  I tell you, it is GOOD!

Mission Accomplished

If you've been a reader of my blog for any time you are aware that Jennifer came to us with an extreme case of medical anxiety.  She informed us early on that "Doctors hurt me."  Merely driving BY a medical facility caused her to panic and SCREAM, much like an ambulance siren! 

Sometimes it is a difficult balance to guard against further psychological trauma, be watchful for attachment issues (and things that could upset the attachment) and still get our children the medical attention that they actually need.  The doctor at the CP clinic has wanted an MRI of Jen's brain for many months.  Since it wasn't something urgent it has been put on hold until I felt Jennifer was attached well enough to trust me with it, and until she wouldn't totally freak out when we walked through the door. She has done so much better when seeing a physician lately that it seemed reasonable to try getting the requested MRI.

Jen cannot hold still for any amount of time so an MRI with sedation was required.  Our local Children's Hospital is fabulous with really tending to the child's needs overall.  They explained to her what was going to happen this day.  They took the time to allow her to smell the different "flavors" of gas that she could have, and even inquired as to the name of the little stuffed doggy friend that came to the hospital with her.  Jennifer was allowed to sit on my lap while they administered the sleepy gas.  She panicked a little when they applied the mask, but she dosed off pretty quickly.  I was called back to recovery when she had just started to wake up.  We went home shortly thereafter.  At home, Jen was treated to a lazy day and exclusive rights to picking the movies.

It has been a week since the procedure, and I've been watching for signs of regression but she seems to have taken it in stride. I'm so happy to have reached the place that Jennifer appears to trust that I'll make the right choice for her.  This is such a HUGE breakthrough for us! 

Zoo

The company where Ethan works had their annual employee family day at the zoo this year.  You may recall that our kids weren't allowed to ride the amusement park rides at the Safari Park in China because of their special needs.  But it was all smiles on this day as the first thing we did when we entered the zoo was to hop on board the carousel.  The staff at the Cincinnati Zoo were very kind to our children with mobility issues and took great care later in the day to safely buckle their chairs in on the zoo train.

 

 

 

We saw a bird show that was super awesome!

Some animal that we didn't catch the name of...

We missed the FLAT zoo that we were used to in Indianapolis.  Pushing the wheelchairs up all the hills was work!

 
But perhaps the most entertaining was watching the goats investigating the wheelchairs!

 I thought we were going to have to spend the night in that barnyard.