Big Changes

In case you didn't notice, we've had a change to the title of the blog.  Didn't notice?  Look again!  We've added a PRINCE to the adventure!  Yes, this is the official announcement that we have started the adoption process again.  We have PA (time to brush up on that Adoption Acronyms post) for a charming young man who will be eleven years old by the time he joins our family.

Our prince currently lives at an NGO - Non Government Organization.  In this case it is a non-profit that does rehabilitation/health care with orphans.  They designated his file name as "Peter."  Since our grandchild #7 (due in December) has Peter as a part of his name; we have thought long and hard about what to call our young prince.  At last Ethan declared his name late last night -- Isaac Hudson.  Isaac means "laughter" (I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions) and Hudson after Hudson Taylor.  He will also keep his Chinese name as a second middle name.

Isaac is affected by Spina Bifida and uses a wheelchair.  He likes to play chess and the Wii.  The director at his facility reports, "This boy is really a lovely kid.  He is emotionally well balanced, joyful, smart, motivated and responsible.  He loves children and can be trusted around the little ones. "  His advocate tells us that he seems to have been gifted with good interpersonal and social skills and is a "people person."

We have been sent many photos, and several are of him eating ice cream. We suspect he has a sweet tooth.  I can't wait to introduce him to Cincinnati's Graeters ice cream!

Sadly, the organization that is currently in charge of his care is closing at the end of August.  There is a possibility of  Isaac being placed in an English speaking foster home while he waits for us, and we are super duper excited about that opportunity!  Oh how wonderful it would be for him to be able to communicate with us once he arrives home!  Please pray with us that this foster home will work out so he won't have to be returned to the orphanage.

One big difference in the adoption of the Prince as compared to that of the Princesses is that he is old enough to actually be required to sign a document agreeing to the adoption.  This is done the day after we meet him but before the adoption is finalized.   Pray for his clarity and peace.  Even though the alternatives for him in his birth country aren't good, sometimes choosing an unpleasant "what you know" is easier than taking that leap of faith into the scary unknown. 

We were required (primarily due to USCIS) to redo nearly all of our homestudy documents - health forms, state clearances, fire safety inspection, social worker study, etc. - but were able to gather everything pretty quickly, and our awesome social worker has already finished her visits.  The homestudy was definitely easier this time around.  Thankfully, we were allowed by China to reuse our dossier since it has been less than a year since the Little Princesses' homecoming, and we have already gathered the few things required as updates for it.  This has saved us a lot of time and stress on the paperwork!  The one significant requirement before our dossier goes back to China for the official matching is the clearing of those immigrations forms again, and the I800A approvals are taking a couple of months right now.

Our friends and family were so very gracious to us and our Princesses these past several months and gave generously out of a heart of love.  We are very grateful for that, and hesitate to even ask for any help again.  Alas, the tremendous cost of adoption is still a fact, and should you feel led to help, there IS a need.  I'll simply draw your attention to the fundraising tab above, just under our photo.  There are a few ways that you can become involved if you would like to do so.

One can never really be sure about projected adoption timelines, but our best guess for Isaac's  homecoming is probably around March of 2014.  We are excited (though likely as surprised as you are) to begin this adventure again.  Please rejoice with us and keep Isaac (and us) in your prayers in the months to come. 

At last! Jen went to therapy!

We have been trying and trying and trying to get therapy services for the Little Princesses.  While I absolutely love the caring and competent people at Children's Hospital, getting started in therapy there takes a long time.  They have a big waiting list, and honestly, my girls just couldn't wait any more.  I sought help from our regular pediatrician who was able to get us into another pediatric therapy place quickly.  Oh how I wish I had done this two months ago!

Since we feel that Jen's needs are more severe than Abigail's she got the first appointment this week.  Unlike the terror she experiences at most doctor appointments, she did really quite well here.  It is more of a playground than clinical atmosphere and she had a good time!  She is pictured above with her speech therapist.

We took a break for lunch, and guess what the closest place happens to be?  IKEA!  They love going to IKEA!

I'm feeling positive about the experience, and have already started some recommended exercises with Jen at home.  She is scheduled to be casted for orthodics next week to keep her from walking on the top side of her feet.  I cannot wait to see her little feet stay flat on the floor, and their bruising STOP!

Today is Miss Abigial's day and I'm hopeful that her experience will be as good as Jennifer's.  Yay for therapy!

As Different as Night and Day - a look back on twelve weeks

"They" told me that a child in foster care grieves hard upon placement with an adoptive family.  They also told me this is healthy and shows the child can bond.  They seem to be right.

We don't have a "Gotcha Day" video because Miss A came to us being dragged (literally) and screaming.  It was ugly.  It was painful.  It was scary.  She wouldn't let me touch her for about a week.

Contrast that with Miss J who was the epitome of calm.  She smiled very sweetly and took my hand as if to say, "I was waiting for you!"  Being part of the general crowd at the orphanage, apparently not special to anyone - ever - she seemed used to new people and new caregivers.

So here we are twelve weeks later.  In many ways it seems as though our Little Princesses have been in our lives always.  While we wish that were so we know they have a past that we will never fully comprehend.  A past that likely includes loss and hurt and longing.

This week has been one of great variance, hot with emotions.  Our girls are as different as night and day.  We will never know how much their past has to do with it and how much is just their own little personalities.

Jen is not really "what you see is what you get."  She has the persona of being just the sweetest and most cheerful child when one first meets her.  Underneath she is frightened and unsure and tempestuous.  Picture a two-year-old tantrum in a seven-year-old body.  Yeah, there it is.  One minute she is a smiling, loving child and the next a raging mess.  Little things set her off in big ways.  Sometimes we have no idea what it even was that set her off.

The situation I found myself in this week was with a screaming and RAGING child - in public.  One who SCREAMED all the way out of the store.  One who threw herself down in the middle of a parking lot.  Picture the stares from people who wondered what in the world *I* had done to this "poor little handicapped girl with a walker" to cause such a reaction.  There was nothing I could do but to pick her up in one arm (wow she gets heavy!) and her walker in the other and leave.  Abandon the shopping trip.  Game over.  She went home to cool down and I went back to finish my shopping later - without her.

The good news is that her tantrums seem to be fewer and farther between.  The bad news is that they are pretty ugly and long lasting when they do occur.  Am I discouraged?  No.  In our adoption training our agency described tantrums as an "emotional sneeze."  That sums it up so very well.  Our older little princess has many things in her past that she just doesn't have the language to tell us about or the method of coping with - yet.  In many ways she IS a two year old emotionally.  I have evaluated the situation every which way and think I know how we could have possibly avoided the escalating emotions that led to this, as a popular book series puts it, "series of unfortunate events." I've filed it away in my brain to hopefully help us head off a major meltdown on another day.

I am happy to report that this week also had some very sweet times.  Miss A has indeed great capacity for love (many thank you's to her foster family are due, I'm sure) and has spent the last couple of days randomly hugging and kissing me as we go about our routine.  This morning she wanted to be my "baby" and we spent a few precious minutes with her curled up in my arms as I rocked her.  Too immature for a six-year-old?  Nope.  This little princess is making up for lost time and holes in her past.

So how have the past twelve weeks gone - really?  We've been out and about at a butterfly exhibit, gardens, concert, movie, museum, parade, parks and playgrounds, restaurants, dentist, a multitude of doctor appointments, shopping (their favorite is IKEA)  and making friends.  We've planted flowers in the backyard, blown about a million bubbles, turned blue in the wading pool, and taken a try at making a bed, vacuuming and loading the dishwasher.  We've had really great times and we've had some really hard times. AND it isn't always the same child who causes either extreme.  In my three decades of parenting that seems to be pretty normal.

We've been super fortunate as both girls are good eaters, not picky, and love trying new foods.  They have liked the most of them too!  Their favorites?  They still love noodles and congee, but french fries, spaghetti and pizza rank pretty high up there too!

Any type of water or sand play delights them.  Miss A likes to watch movies in general.  Miss J, not so much.  Both Little Princesses are on the patio now, blowing bubbles.  They LOVE to blow bubbles and will blow them until the bubbles run out.

They also love their "Signing Time" dvd's and we are communicating better each day.  While their tongues cannot form the English words they are wanting to say, their hand motions can communicate in the meantime.  It has helped  - a LOT.

I believe they are learning to trust us, to form an attachment, to get to know extended family and be "ok" with them, and I KNOW we love them both dearly.  No regrets.  I cannot imagine life without them.

Another Way to Get Wet!

If you follow my blog you know that the Little Princesses are part fish.  They are all for any means of getting wet!  I'd spotted a water activity table on the Facebook posts of a couple of different friends and knew that we HAD to have one for our yard.

My original thought was it would give the water cravings a "fix" without a total body soaking.  Hmmmm... some day when I am a more experienced mother I will know better than to think that!  In the meantime (with some explaining to Miss A that it isn't acceptable to pour water on heads) we are wet primarily from the chest down.

I love that it came with a water wheel!  There were also two little sailboats, but the Princesses don't seem much into sailing.  As you can see, Abigail very quickly turned the sailboat into a vessel for dumping water into the wheel.  Why sail when you can dump water?  Indeed.

A Rainy Fourth of July!

Here are our little girls on the 4th of July.  We went to an adult daughter's house intending to watch some of our grandchildren in a parade and then have a cookout.  It has been raining, and raining and raining for days here in Ohio, so we had to come up with alternative plans.

Fortunately, I remembered that I had bought a finger painting set and stuck it away for ... well, a RAINY DAY!  Even the "big kids" had fun!

I find myself wondering if the Little Princesses had ever experienced finger paint before.  They didn't seem surprised or grossed out by it, so I'm thinking they may have done it before.

Jennifer's creation

There is such a contrast to rainy days while we were in China as compared to here.  Even though it rained nearly every day that we were there, the people seemed to get all excited about it and insist that we get an umbrella.  In our family a rainy day (if it is warm with no lightning) often means yet one more excuse to play in the water!  You've already seen evidence on my blog that our little girls are part fish.  They loved it!

It was so, so fun to see Abigail running with her sisters, niece and nephews and enjoying the rain!  If you look closely you will see that she still has a blue hand from finger painting, so it was a fun way to clean up too!

 I'm guessing that they had NOT played in the rain before!

Grocery Grabbers

When I returned from grocery shopping I took a load in the house then went back to the van to get some more bags.

One of our older daughters came out grinning and said, "Mom, you need to see what your youngest daughters are doing!" 

Me:  Are they freaking out over all the food?

She:  More than that, just come see!

They were very gleefully unpacking the bags and exclaiming over all of their finds.  They were pretty good ones too as it appears that they discovered the junk food bags.  (I assure you I bought meat, fruit and vegetables also.)  I'm guessing they never had an experience like this in the orphanage!

Another Success! Zac Morgan Concert

We have been attending church in the foyer and/or nursing baby room since our return from China because Abigail has some sort of a fear of theater type seating.  We don't have a clue what the issue is, but she is afraid.  I took advantage of a concert at our local library hoping, hoping, hoping for a successful experience.  

At first Abigail was unsure and hid in my lap.  Pretty soon however, she saw that the other children were having fun, and that the guy singing was really pretty fun too!  Zac Morgan is a children's singer/songwriter and a local celebrity.  Apparently his music appeals to Chinese children with only a small grasp of the language also!

They also appreciated his props!

By the time the concert was over Abigail was doing the motions with Zac and giggling!  Yay!   Both princesses also enjoy books, so the afternoon ended in a pleasant way.